“After being told, the 16-year-old girl asked, ‘What’s a magazine?’” - CONAN O’BRIEN But it will be awkward when she presents it to Harvard: ‘Wait a second -Aunt Becky told us her daughter was person of the year.’” - TREVOR NOAH “Plus she doesn’t have to fill out a college application - she can show them this. "It’s so cool to be named the person of the year while you’re still in high school, all right? All the other kids are like, ‘I was voted most likely to succeed.’ And Greta is slapping her magazine like, ‘I already did, bitch.’” - TREVOR NOAH We’re going to cut down a million trees and print your face on them, and then we’re going to put them on airplanes and send them all over the world!’” - TREVOR NOAH “When asked what she thought about Time, Thunberg said, ‘We probably have about five, six years left.’” - SETH MEYERS And to honor this young woman who’s dedicated her life thus far to saving the environment, Time will cut down thousands of trees to print 2 million copies of the magazine.” - JIMMY KIMMEL “Time magazine today unveiled their person of the year for 2019 and that person is Greta Thunberg, the 16-year-old activist, the youngest woman, youngest human ever to be named person of the year. agents, they’re stealing Graham’s best material.” - STEPHEN COLBERT The Punchiest Punchlines (Person of the Year Edition) I’ll tell you what: I can understand why Graham is furious.
“Meanwhile, every Democrat was like, ‘I allot my time to Lindsey Graham. I’m pretty sure there are people stranded on deserted islands in the Bermuda Triangle putting rocks together that say, ‘Trump is a douche.’” - SETH MEYERS You can’t go anywhere in the world without hearing opinions about Trump.
“I guess he had a change of heart, because Lindsey Graham was one of the most outspoken critics of Trump now he suckles at his teat like a baby goat.” - JIMMY KIMMEL They didn’t want him to be president, which is a crazy point to make, because I can think of someone else back then who didn’t want him to be president, too.” - JIMMY KIMMEL “Lindsey Graham’s point was, I guess that the parties involved in the investigation were biased against Donald Trump. “O.K., will the last vertebrae to leave Lindsey Graham’s spine please remember to turn off the lights?” - STEPHEN COLBERT “I agree and I cannot wait to take that out of context for the next 100 years.” - SAMANTHA BEE
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